Week Six

I sit in this room and wait listening to people pass by the door some talking in low tones while some just move along trying to move as fast as they can to reach the room they are seeking. This room I sit in has bleak white walls with no pictures to even attempt to cheer up the occupants. A corkboard hangs on one wall with a sheet of paper held to it with a red pushpin asking patients to rate their pain. I think in a room this uninviting any ones pain would increase. The bed sits in the middle of the room covered in white sheets and a white blanket. Beside the bed sits a table that holds a few possessions that my mother has brought for my father. These include two pairs of glasses one that wait for my father to wake up. His glasses sit on top of a bible that has been read so many times that there is tape holding the binding together. On the opposite side of the bed is a bed table, which holds a cup and water pitcher. The floors are white tile with gray specks that are as cold as the rest of the room. Against the wall in front of the only widow is a chair that has a silver frame and orange vinyl seat and back. The room is so void of color that even the patient looks paler then he really is. Everything is sterile even the air which smells of disinfectant that hits you in the face when you enter. How is it that people come to a hospital to get better and they are faced with bleak walls and everything looking sterile, wouldn’t a room that is inviting with color and a few pictures help lift the sprits of the people that have to spend time here.

Week 5 Theme

Every year all of my brothers and sisters along with our spouses and children plan an outing that usually involves some type of torture. The summer of 2003 the decision was made and the planning began. We would hike Mt. Katahdin in August. My older brothers were given the job of making the arrangements and gathering information. My sisters would take it from there and organize everyone with what we would need for the day. The last three would be ready where and when we were told.
On a hazy Sunday morning in August we were on the road to Katahdin having an hour drive some of us slept and a few went over list to make sure we had everything. I was a sleeper along with my two children. There were 24 of use divided into five mini vans. We reached the mountain at 7:00 a.m. and everyone unloaded his or her backpack. Only one of my sisters was not making the hike because of knee surgery two week before. She still insisted on waiting at the bottom for our return. The excitement of the hike built as everyone unloaded in Bubbling Broke parking lot. We were ready to hike and the mountain looked beautiful. I think now is the time to tell you that not something we do because we are in shape it is only an activity we do once a year and for the most part we are not in the best of shape but we are all stubborn. We would pay for this stubbornness later.
We took a few group shots for the before hike and started the hike moving along at a good pace and found the hike from the parking lot to Chimney Pond rather easy and a lot like walking the paths at my parent’s camp. Some would stop and take pictures of the scenery others were looking for wildlife. We were able to laugh and have a great time. We stopped for about 20 minutes to enjoy the pond and take pictures. The kids also found that there is a range behind every tree because when the first rock was throw a range was there to tell them that everything is to be left as is and to not disturb anything more then we needed to.
After the 20 minutes we continued up Saddleback to reach the top of the mountain. This was a little harder climb with large boulders to climb over when we were beyond the tree line. This was more hiking then we were prepared for but we were a very stubborn family and keep moving up. Sometimes we would stop to rest and then move on but found that if we stopped we had a hard time moving again so we tried to move on with keeping our eye on the next part of the trail we could see. Once up Saddleback we reached a summit where we rested for the last leg of the hike. We could see the top and to tell you the truth it was a whole lot closer looking then it was. Some of us decided to wait for the rest of the group to return from the peak and the rest of us set out to prove we could do this. Climbing this part was like moving forward two feet and sliding back three. The ground was loose rock that slid under your feet and made the going slow. Finally we reached the top and what was waiting for us? A sign saying we were on the top of Mt. Katahdin and a young man who counted the people as they reached the top. There was no brass band or someone throwing confetti, which was what we thought we had earned at the very least. We gathered together and had the nice young man take our picture. I guess that might have been another one of his jobs too.
After a brief rest we went slip sliding down the mountain to be once again reunited with our family members. We did more sliding on our buts then walking because if we thought the climb up was bad then the walk down was worse. Those loose rocks keep us sliding and the only way we stopped was when we finally lost our footing and landed on our backsides. Once we slid our way down to start our decent back to Chimney Pond we were asking what would have to happen to be air lifted out, during this discussion I mistakenly thought the path I decided to take down over a rather large boulder was going to work and I fell and landed on my chins and slide about a foot and a half. Let me tell you this hurt so much that the last thing I wanted to do was get up and look. Of course I did and sure enough they were scraped from knee to ankle. The skin over my shins were rising like the yeast bread that my mother cooked every Saturday to go with our dogs and beans. They looked bad and felt like they were on fire but this was not even going to get the airlift we all wanted so badly. No I had to get up and continue.
Well wounded and all we made it back to the parking lot and fell to the ground and felt like we would never move again. As the adults laid around waiting for the bright light to welcome us into the after life we noticed the kids were up and walking and some even running around. What was this? These kids had climbed the same distance as us and they still had energy to burn. Then we remembered that we had twenty some years on them and could only turn our heads away because it hurt to see them moving. We hurt lying around but that was nothing compared to the pain that shot throw us when we had to get up and into the vans we felt like we were tearing the muscles to shreds. Well I did it and will never do it again because while the pain of childbirth has dimmed the pain of climbing Mt. Katahdin has not.

Way Way out there

Having to pick my son up at 1:30 in the morning at his girlfriend’s house after his first semi-formal dance. He looked so grown up in his three-piece suit and new haircut. He really is growing up to fast and before long he will be away at college starting his adult life. God I hope I have done a good job. While reflecting on this fact and my two-year-old son started crying in his crib. Most times he will fuss for a few minute then go back to sleep. Not to night he starts calling “My mommy, my mommy” how could I do anything else but bring him out to be rocked. He snuggled in my arms and returned to a sound sleep or so I thought. While my daughter lays on the couch and watches a movie that I am to tired to know what is going on Ashton snuggles and seems to be so close to me that I believe I could stay up all night and rock him. I should never wish for something that though wonderful would make me a bear in the morning. I walk down the hall to lay him in his crib and he jumps up as if on springs and smiles and put his arms back out to. What to do? I do the only thing that I can; I pick him up and return to the rocking chair. With the 1:30 deadline approaching and my two year old awake I can do one of two things. I can leave him with my daughter and put her in the position of having a crying baby for the next twenty minutes or I can take him with me. I decide to dress him in his winter coat and load both the baby and Katie in the truck and head out. As we leave the drive way and head down the road the snow starts to fall. I say to my self “I’ll be home before it gets bad.” When dealing with the weather in Maine you should never utter those words. As we get closer to Orono the snow is falling fast and the wind picks up, blowing the snow around. The winds batter the truck and we start sliding from side to side. My daughter is getting nerves and tells me to stop I ask her what is wrong and she yells “you are all over the road.” I tell her I am only going where the wind is taking us. Well the wind blow us right into my son’s girlfriend’s drive way and he runs out with his friend close behind. The wind is so strong that I have to drive further into the driveway so he can grab the side and pull himself and his friend along. When they get in the door is blown off the hinges and went flying down the road. I told my son to get in and we would be home before long. Once we back out of the driveway or more like get blow out of it we start back to Old Town. When we get to the end of the road and try to turn left toward home the truck is blown right and we had no choice to go. I thought we could get the interstate and be home before long. When I reached the turn off the wind started blowing behind me and we were on our way to Bangor. I decided to stop fighting the wind and went along with it. Before I know it I was being blown into the parking lot of Denny’s. The doors blow open and the wind picked us up and we were taken in and sat in chairs around the table. We were given menus and ordered. It was fun to be out late with the kids. When we leave the restaurant the wind had died down and the door was back on the truck. We all looked at each other and started laughing.

Just an note

The Of It's Leash is still a work in progress.

Theme Four Little Fancy

My son’s first semi-formal dance is so exciting he is dressed in a suit and tie and looks so grown up. I have agreed to let him stay at his girlfriends house with other friends and to pick him up at 1:30 a.m. what possessed me to agree to this on a night my husband is away I will never know. I am struggling to stay awake while my daughter who is wide awake on the couch watching a movie that I have no idea what is going on because I have been steering at the television as if in a trance. I hear a small cry from the end of the hall and know that for some reason the baby has decided that he would like to spend some time with me. I let him cry for a few minutes but can tell that he is building in to a major cry fest that will only get worse and so I make my way down to the end of the hall and see him standing at the end of his crib with his arms out stretched saying mommy, mommy over and over. How could I do anything else but pick him up and hug him to me as I walk back to the rocking chair. He has brought his two favorite blankets with him and snuggles into my chest and goes back to sleep. He is a beautiful baby and I can see my older children in him and have had people tell me he looks like his older brother. This always surprises me because Ash was a gift that was given to us. After rocking my sleeping son for a while I return him to his crib and turn to leave when he pops up like a jack in the box to stretch his arms out and gives me the look that I have never been able to resist. Doing the only thing I could I returned to the rocking chair to rock some more. This time he has decided that I’m not to be trusted and lies with his eyes open. He is watching me and seems to be telling me that he has figured out that if he goes to sleep I will put him back in his bed and he just doesn’t want that. I try to get him to lay with his sister on the couch but he only wants mommy. I know this because he starts yelling my name so loud I think he could wake the neighbors. I have to do the only thing I can and I dress him in his jacket, mittens, and hat and take him with me. My daughter pauses the movie and decides to come with me to help with the baby, but I know it is because she doesn’t like staying at home alone. We leave the house and find out just how cold it is “thank god for the starter on the truck.” The ride is uneventful until we reach 103 Ultra Lounge and see every police officer that Orono has to offer sitting at the Bangor Savings Bank across the street waiting for anyone stupid enough to have been drinking and decides to drive home.
Reaching my destination in Orono I collect my son and his friend and return home as it begins to snow. The snow is light and pretty as it falls to the ground. On reaching the point where the bank is located we see that all the police cars have left and not seeing blue lights flashing believe that the college kids are using their brains and either walked or called a cab to get home. Both boys will camp in the living room for the night because they would be like sardines in my son’s room. Ash decides that he should be able to sleep with the big boys because he has made himself comfortable in my son’s sleeping bag and waves to me. I tell my older son not to roll on him during the night and make my way to my own bed. I am almost asleep when I hear a little voice saying “up mommy, up mommy” I roll over to find Ash. I reach down and pull him into my bed and we snuggle until he finds the remote and hits me on the head with it and points it at the television. I don’t need to be hit in the head more then once, I turn the television on hoping watching ESPN will put him to sleep. This is not to be of course and Ash leaves my bed to return to the living room once again. I follow and find him once again in my son’s sleeping bed and looking like he will finally go back to sleep. After all it is after 2:30 and a two year old can’t have that much energy. Right? I return to my bed and find the dog sleeping on my pillow and he looks like he belongs there. After pushing him over I crawl in and finally lay down. Once again just before I fall a sleep I hear this little voice saying “up mommy, up mommy.” I turn and think this can’t be happening and as I pull Ash up on the bed I begin to tell him that mommy is tired and we need to go to sleep, he shakes his head up and down and cuddles in. After having kisses and hugs he turns his head and just like that he goes to sleep.
Way to soon I hear my son saying “up mommy, up mommy” only this time he is telling me it is time to get up and it is only 7:30 in the morning and my head feels like I might have been one of the people I saw leaving the bar last night.

Theme Four Black and White

Having had to pick my son up at 1:30 in the morning at his girlfriend’s house after his first semi-formal dance. The baby woke up at 12:30 and usually if I just letting him fuss for a few minutes and he goes back to sleep this would not be the case tonight. My daughter is lying on the couch watching a movie. I bring the baby out to rock him and he lies in my arms and goes right back to sleep. I rock him for a little while and at 1:00 I try to lay him back down. He wakes back up and I return to the rocking chair once again. This time he lays in my arms but doesn’t go back to sleep. I am to leave at 1:15 to make it to Orono by 1:30. My son will not go to my daughter and I end up dressing him to go with me. My daughter rides down and my son is awake all the way. I make it to Orono at 1:39 and pick up my son and his friend that will be spending the weekend with us. When we return to the house the baby decides that he wants to stay up with the boys and lays down with my son who is sleeping in the livingroom because his room is to small for two teenage boys. I go to bed and my son goes from the living room to my bedroom a few times before finally laying down with me to sleep at 2:48. He is up at 7:30 and I have a head ach.