Sunday, May 11, 2008

Week Sixteen

Have never viewed myself as a writer, I keep a journal of everyday things, or something I find interesting but that has been about it. This class has made me feel comfortable to write and have that writing viewed and commented on. I still find myself focusing on mostly one thing in my writing (family) but that is what is most on my mind.

I hope to write more after this class and work on other topics, views, people, and feelings. I have found that writing is a great way to express myself, clear my head, and even relax. Writing has helped me think things through and take a different approach to my writing. I find myself still thinking to hard about what I want to write and need to just clear my head and write, stop thing so hard, second-guessing myself and let it come from my head and out my finger tips. That is still a work in progress, but what isn’t.
I have really enjoyed this class and was able to learn a lot about my writing and myself. Having others writings to view was helpful because I always wonder if what I am writing is what you have asked for and that is could be where the thinking and planning comes from. The last few writings I have just sat down and wrote about what comes to mind and its been ok. I fell that this class has been a benefit to my writing and hope to take what I have learned and use it to write more.

Week 15 second

Road less traveled in US as gas prices skyrocket
Rising gas prices influence baseball fans
Gas prices soar, motorist feel pinch

Tax break won’t help much on gas prices
Gas thieves pumped up by high gas prices
Democrats hit GOP on soaring gas prices.

As gas prices soar, the bus starts looking very good
Mulling gas prices before vacation
Are rising gas prices really all that bad?

Gas prices set new record in US
As fuel prices rise, drivers back off pedal
What will you do as gas prices rise?

Gas prices up again overnight
Gas prices up again in an hour
Gas jumps above $3.67

Gas prices are changing lives
Area residents cite difficulty dealing with jump at the pumps
Going along with high gas prices only feeds the greed.

Gas prices rattle Americans
High gas prices fuel talk session
Gas prices killing confidence.

Week 15

I had to so something today.
What a cop out.
Just make a call.

Very passionate person.
Everything is sterile
I'll be home before it gets bad.

Thirteen nervous girls
Not much different then I
I found myself smiling.

Growing into responible adults
Trying to get through school
Someday it will be possible.

Make us appreciate each other
Show that we can grow
Strong ties make a difference.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Week 14

I had to do something today that I had been dreading from the moment I had my children. I think of myself as being a pretty open person, able to talk about anything with anyone. That was not the case today. While I paced back and forth in my livingroom waiting for my son to get done what ever he was doing in his room, and hoping that when he came down the hall that I could open my mouth and ask him to come talk to me. I know the minute the words were out that he would not be able to look at me and I would have a hard time looking at him. I have to do this because of his age not that we haven’t talked about this subject before but not the way I feel we needed to now. All I could keep thinking as I paced some more is “shouldn’t his father have had this talk with him?” Well hell yes, this is a father, son moment. Why had I listened when my husband said “you work with kids you can talk to him better then me.” What a cop out and I fell for it.
How do you talk about sex with your fifteen-year-old son, with out having him run out the door? Do you make light of it with him and just say in passing and hope he understands? Should I sit at the table or maybe in the livingroom with the television on? Maybe I should cook him something and while his mouth is full bring it up. No, bad idea he would probably choke. I’m just going to do it casually and hope it goes well. What I really want to say is I’ll kill you if you ever have sex before you’re an adult. But I remember being his age and if my parents ever said that I would have done the opposite.
Why didn’t I look it up on the Internet I might have been able to print off a dialog to use? I should have bought a book, or set away for a pamphlet. That way when my jaw locks up I could have just handed it to him, or I could have left it in his room and hope he would read it.
Okay, here we go.

Hey, “Nate come in the livingroom I need to talk to you.”

“Okay mom.”

“I just wanted to talk to you about your relationship with Elisabeth.” (Very smooth.)

“What about it?”

“You know that your fifteen and been seeing her for a while right.” (Like he wouldn’t know that.)

“I know that, what about it.”

“Do you know that if you every need to talk about anything even sex you can come to me or your father?” (Hope you go to your dad.)

“I know that mom, but I have had sex ed and know that I need to take care of things and that there is more to worry about then pregnancy, because there is STD’s out there and mom, its ok because we are no where near any of that but knowing I can talk to you if I need to is great, but I think I’ll talk to dad.”

Monday, May 05, 2008

Week 13

Every school year fifth grade goes on a field trip to Little Cranberry Island and today I get to go. Not because I have children in fifth grade but because the classroom teacher has planned it on an in service day and asked if I would like to chaperone. I had a choice either sits with other staff members in a training on blood born pathogens or take a trip to an island I had never heard of. Of course I picked the island.

Parents drop of children and as we wait for the bus the students talk excitedly about what they hope to see and everything they have learned about ocean life in science. They talk about the boat ride we will take to reach the island and how they wish we had to go by boat to reach our island. Students are standing in groups with their lunches and backpacks at their feet and just by looking you can tell the girls packed to many extra jackets and the boys to few. As they continue talking we take a head count as they board the bus. Once on the bus the kids either sit in groups with a few moving further away hopping to catch a nap. As I knit and the classroom teacher reads we make our way to Little Cranberry.

As the bus pulls up to the dock and the mail boat that is waiting for us we see other people waiting and some loading boats with supplies. We make sure the kids all use the bathroom because even in fifth grade there is always one that will say they don’t need to but when we get out on the water will ask if there is a bathroom. Our tickets are bought and we move down the walkway to the dock and pile our things next to the boat that will take us on our adventure. Most of the people waiting smile as we all trump down but a few look as if they wish they had picked another day. As the Captain goes over rules and tells up how long the trip will take and the one stop we will be taking the students sit a listen like they never would in a classroom. The boat moves out and we are on our way.

Reaching Little Cranberry the students thanked the driver and moved up the walkway to a field where we would leave our things and eat before exploring the island. Students eat quickly and quickly got into their two groups for to begin their scavenge hunt. In the past each group had bags to collect their finds but not wanting to disturb nature each of us adults had digital cameras and slips of papers for the kids to lay beside their item where the name will be written.

We notice that most of the houses are old on the front of the island and are weathered. There is one church that we pass and a store and we stop to go inside and find that there are very few things other then milk and bread and some candy. The kids are amazed that they don’t have more. The storekeeper at first looks like she had never seen so many people in the store at one time but smiles and answers all the students’ questions. Once on the road again we hear children playing and see the small schoolhouse where there is about six or seven children playing. The students are amazed when we tell them that it is likely all the students in the school. Moving along even though we all wanted to stop and see the school we continue down the road where houses are further apart and look newer. We see lobster traps in front yards and most of the houses have three or four wheelers parked out side. We see very few people and notice that we don’t hear cars. Leaving the road we follow a path to a beach where we begin our scavenge hunt. Students are able to walk out on rocks because of low tide and look in tide pools for items on their lists. I am running one way and then another taking pictures having a great time. We make our way down the shore taking pictures but always mindful of the time, because we have to meet the boat. There is time for the students to explore and ask questions.

Leaving the shore we move back to a path that takes up to where we left our bags and when we pass by a house the students start laughing and pointing because there in the front yard is a wooden carving of a mermaid. Well this is quite something for the students because the mermaid is naked and as the boys stare, the girls try looking anywhere else while their faces turn red.

Collecting our things we have just enough time to use the bathroom before boarding the boat to take us back to the bus.

Sunday, May 04, 2008

just asking

John, there is no comment on week seven, I don't know if you missed it or would like me to rewrite it. I also need your e-mail address for some reason I don't have it. Thanks Karen

Saturday, May 03, 2008

week twelve attempt 2

Piles of books on the shelf, in boxes, on the floor, even the widow sills. No dusting needed for nick knacks just move the books and give a good swipe. Children’s books, young adult books, biographies, how to do most anything, knitting books, mysteries, even romance and many more. There are new books that wait to be read and books that have been read by you and many unknown people. Some have copyrights before you were born and some have no copyright because they are books the kids have made for birthdays, Christmas, and valentine gifts. Even with so many books there is no hesitation to buy more. Books are knowledge, entertainment; they even share places you would like to visit. Books open the world to whoever takes the time to read them.

week 12 attempt 1

Steps to changing a flat tire:

1. Open the trunk and try to figure out how to lift the cover that hides the tire.
2. 10 minutes to figure out the little thingy that holds the tire down.
3. Remove the tire and the jack thingy too.
4. Turn the jack over in your hands and stare at it like the artifact it will some day be.
5. Bend down near the flat tire and try to figure where the best placement for the jack would be. (There is no arrow telling you to place jack here.)
6. Give up on jack and turn the tire iron around in your hand thinking you will never be able to loosen those little lug nuts.
7. Turn your attention back to jack and place it under the car.
8. Place handle thing in jack and try to reach jack with out getting you dress clothes dirty.
9. Take jack out and throw it back into the trunk.
10.Remember you have Triple A. Make the call.

Week Eleven

On an early morning in February with the snow falling a young mother struggles to give birth to a baby that she knows her actions may cause the baby to suffer while grew inside her for the last eight months.

This baby when born four weeks early had to have help breathing, and struggled with withdrawals that caused him to be on a feeding tube and oxygen for the next three weeks and four more weeks of being wend from the drugs that entered his system as he grow.

This baby has grow into a very active two year old who wants to know how everything works and watches his older brother and sister closely so he can try what they do when no one is looking. He has temper tantrums that can make your hair stand up until you are ready to give him anything that might make him stop. He is clingy when he feels the need and independent when you wish he would be a little bit clingy. He wants you to think that he has no idea what the word no means, even when you can see his head turn slightly in your direction when you say the word. After all he is two.

Ashton was born with a large strike against him on that day in February because his mother was and still is a drug user who lost him due to her inability to clean her life up in order to have her baby. He has become an important part of our family to the point of being the center of each of us.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Week Ten

I live on an Indian Reservation, my husband is full Penobscot Indian and my children are half Penobscot and half of their blood line from be is mixed with French, Irish, and English. I work at the school on the reservation and love were I live and work. The children in our school are for the most part not full-blooded Native Americans but we have seemed to forget about part of their culture. We want our children to be brought up with knowing all of their cultures and being proud of each of them. This has become very hard when they spend their day in a school that is so focused on just Native American culture and history. While having our children taught their Native American culture so strongly is great they are not taught the history of the rest of the world along with it. We have Native Studies that mostly teaches the culture and only that. The Social Studies books are out dated by 15 years and for the most part not used. Most classrooms use the newspaper in its place. This is great children are aware of the world they live in today, but are missing all that led up to it. Our students spend nine years from Early Childhood to eighth in a school of about 110 students and then after eighth grade they are sent off to a high school that they have been only partly prepared for. They enter high school with a limited knowledge of others history but with a strong knowledge of their own. We expect to our children to succeed but do not give them all the tools they will need.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

week nine

I think your right John. Hows this?

Driving for hours in a cramped car; teenagers fighting; baby crying; changing radio stations; crazy drivers; excited to see family; dreading seeing family; listening to achievements; remembering lost ones; meeting new family; staying clear of crazy aunt; being hugged and kissed; smiling until your face hurts; marriages; divorces; food; laughter.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Theme Eight

Going to the annually family reunion is different every year. Driving for hours in a cramped car; teenagers fighting; baby crying; changing radio stations; crazy drivers; excited to see family; dreading seeing family; listening to achievements; remembering lost ones; meeting new family; staying clear of crazy aunt; being hugged and kissed; smiling until your face hurts; marriages; divorces; food; laughter; deciding this is great lets do it next year.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Theme Eight

I have often thought that maybe our lives are mapped out for us in a tentative way from the minute we are born and what we do with that map is left up to us. When opportunities are given to us we can either take them or pass them by. What professions we go into, who we marry, how many children we have are all choices that can change the direction of our lives. This is what I believe may have happened when my husband and I decided to have children. Our first attempt at having a child was marked by lost and years of seeing doctors. With the news of our first child we were so excited to welcome into our home was lost when I was only three months pregnant. Having people tell us that this might have been for the best because sometimes it is Gods way of knowing when a child may suffer more then if their live were taken before they were done developing. This was no help to either of us because it would not have mattered what issues the baby may have had because he or she would have been ours and we would have done everything possible for the child. Again this may have been something that was in our journey that we could not have changed no matter how hard we would have liked to. Soon our sadness was replaced by joy and a little fear when I become pregnant with our son. We worried and read all the books and followed them like a religion and our son was born in November of 92. Even with our happiness over having a son we still wondered what our first pregnancy would have given us. As time passed and our daughter was born two years later we thought about our first child but with raising two active children the times became less and less. We were always thinking that three children would be great but as the years passed and we were not given the gift of another child we fell into our lives of being a family of four.

This changed quickly in 2006 when a co-worker brought her grandson into work and I held him. While she was at a point in her life when she should have been enjoying her grandchildren and still having the time to enjoy being free to travel and have her interest she was contacted by Human Services that her grandson would be taken at birth from her daughter and placed in foster care if she was unable to take him and doing the only thing she could she brought the baby home. That first day while holding him I felt the same way as when I held my own children for the first time. I had accepted that we were only going to have two children but found myself offering to help his grandmother with his care. This was the beginning of getting to know my third child. During those months Ashton came to stay with us often and soon he was with us more then his grandmother. In December we were asked by human services if we would like to be Ashton’s foster parents we said yes very quickly and with in days he was ours. As he became more and more a part of our lives I know that if we were to loose him that it would be like loosing one of our birth children. Months passed and during one of our home visits the social worker asked if we would like to adopt Ash. In less then one second we both said yes. This process was long and at times a pain in the ass but we kept looking ahead to when he would be our son legally even though he already was in our hearts. December 5, 2007 our wait was over and going in front of a judge we finally had been given our third child. Sometimes it’s funny how our life changes.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Week Seven Theme

Some people just need to be busy to have a full live and that it how it is with my friend at work. She is a wonderful person that would do almost anything for anyone but when she is in a bad mood then we steer clear of her. She has had so many interests over the years that we can’t keep track of what she is doing at any given time. She started seven years ago with being consumed with loosing weight. She joined Curves and that lasted about a month then came her membership to the YMCA where all she talked about was swimming and weight training. Before long the exercising was out and the South Beach Diet had taken over. She tried pushing the book on anyone that came near her and that was fine but she would get up set when no one would join her in the latest thing. We started out as a group moving from one thing to another with her but soon grew tired of her changing interest so often that we just gave up. After the weight loose era she moved on to being a Creative Memories sales person. Of course we all booked parties and bought everything we needed to start our memory keeping. She was always showing us what was new and telling us how much money see spent on her last order. Most times it was more then she made that week. After the memories were all cut and stuck in many photo albums she started working two jobs and being grumpy the day after working late. She came in with all these great stories of her other job and the products that were available at a discount to her. The second job lasted the longest of her interest just over one and a half years. While still working at her second job she began having an interest in photography. She took a class and that was all we heard about for about 15 weeks. Then she started bringing in her pictures that she would have blown up and framed. Some of us bought a picture but they still kept coming. The pictures soon gave way to cards she would make and she was always having a container of them out and trying to push them under our noses. She would get upset when fewer and fewer people would show an interest in them. She is a very passionate person in anything she does but along with that passion comes pushiness. It’s hard to tell what her next interest will be but we all hope it is something that doesn’t involve us buying something.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

Week Six

I sit in this room and wait listening to people pass by the door some talking in low tones while some just move along trying to move as fast as they can to reach the room they are seeking. This room I sit in has bleak white walls with no pictures to even attempt to cheer up the occupants. A corkboard hangs on one wall with a sheet of paper held to it with a red pushpin asking patients to rate their pain. I think in a room this uninviting any ones pain would increase. The bed sits in the middle of the room covered in white sheets and a white blanket. Beside the bed sits a table that holds a few possessions that my mother has brought for my father. These include two pairs of glasses one that wait for my father to wake up. His glasses sit on top of a bible that has been read so many times that there is tape holding the binding together. On the opposite side of the bed is a bed table, which holds a cup and water pitcher. The floors are white tile with gray specks that are as cold as the rest of the room. Against the wall in front of the only widow is a chair that has a silver frame and orange vinyl seat and back. The room is so void of color that even the patient looks paler then he really is. Everything is sterile even the air which smells of disinfectant that hits you in the face when you enter. How is it that people come to a hospital to get better and they are faced with bleak walls and everything looking sterile, wouldn’t a room that is inviting with color and a few pictures help lift the sprits of the people that have to spend time here.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Week 5 Theme

Every year all of my brothers and sisters along with our spouses and children plan an outing that usually involves some type of torture. The summer of 2003 the decision was made and the planning began. We would hike Mt. Katahdin in August. My older brothers were given the job of making the arrangements and gathering information. My sisters would take it from there and organize everyone with what we would need for the day. The last three would be ready where and when we were told.
On a hazy Sunday morning in August we were on the road to Katahdin having an hour drive some of us slept and a few went over list to make sure we had everything. I was a sleeper along with my two children. There were 24 of use divided into five mini vans. We reached the mountain at 7:00 a.m. and everyone unloaded his or her backpack. Only one of my sisters was not making the hike because of knee surgery two week before. She still insisted on waiting at the bottom for our return. The excitement of the hike built as everyone unloaded in Bubbling Broke parking lot. We were ready to hike and the mountain looked beautiful. I think now is the time to tell you that not something we do because we are in shape it is only an activity we do once a year and for the most part we are not in the best of shape but we are all stubborn. We would pay for this stubbornness later.
We took a few group shots for the before hike and started the hike moving along at a good pace and found the hike from the parking lot to Chimney Pond rather easy and a lot like walking the paths at my parent’s camp. Some would stop and take pictures of the scenery others were looking for wildlife. We were able to laugh and have a great time. We stopped for about 20 minutes to enjoy the pond and take pictures. The kids also found that there is a range behind every tree because when the first rock was throw a range was there to tell them that everything is to be left as is and to not disturb anything more then we needed to.
After the 20 minutes we continued up Saddleback to reach the top of the mountain. This was a little harder climb with large boulders to climb over when we were beyond the tree line. This was more hiking then we were prepared for but we were a very stubborn family and keep moving up. Sometimes we would stop to rest and then move on but found that if we stopped we had a hard time moving again so we tried to move on with keeping our eye on the next part of the trail we could see. Once up Saddleback we reached a summit where we rested for the last leg of the hike. We could see the top and to tell you the truth it was a whole lot closer looking then it was. Some of us decided to wait for the rest of the group to return from the peak and the rest of us set out to prove we could do this. Climbing this part was like moving forward two feet and sliding back three. The ground was loose rock that slid under your feet and made the going slow. Finally we reached the top and what was waiting for us? A sign saying we were on the top of Mt. Katahdin and a young man who counted the people as they reached the top. There was no brass band or someone throwing confetti, which was what we thought we had earned at the very least. We gathered together and had the nice young man take our picture. I guess that might have been another one of his jobs too.
After a brief rest we went slip sliding down the mountain to be once again reunited with our family members. We did more sliding on our buts then walking because if we thought the climb up was bad then the walk down was worse. Those loose rocks keep us sliding and the only way we stopped was when we finally lost our footing and landed on our backsides. Once we slid our way down to start our decent back to Chimney Pond we were asking what would have to happen to be air lifted out, during this discussion I mistakenly thought the path I decided to take down over a rather large boulder was going to work and I fell and landed on my chins and slide about a foot and a half. Let me tell you this hurt so much that the last thing I wanted to do was get up and look. Of course I did and sure enough they were scraped from knee to ankle. The skin over my shins were rising like the yeast bread that my mother cooked every Saturday to go with our dogs and beans. They looked bad and felt like they were on fire but this was not even going to get the airlift we all wanted so badly. No I had to get up and continue.
Well wounded and all we made it back to the parking lot and fell to the ground and felt like we would never move again. As the adults laid around waiting for the bright light to welcome us into the after life we noticed the kids were up and walking and some even running around. What was this? These kids had climbed the same distance as us and they still had energy to burn. Then we remembered that we had twenty some years on them and could only turn our heads away because it hurt to see them moving. We hurt lying around but that was nothing compared to the pain that shot throw us when we had to get up and into the vans we felt like we were tearing the muscles to shreds. Well I did it and will never do it again because while the pain of childbirth has dimmed the pain of climbing Mt. Katahdin has not.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Way Way out there

Having to pick my son up at 1:30 in the morning at his girlfriend’s house after his first semi-formal dance. He looked so grown up in his three-piece suit and new haircut. He really is growing up to fast and before long he will be away at college starting his adult life. God I hope I have done a good job. While reflecting on this fact and my two-year-old son started crying in his crib. Most times he will fuss for a few minute then go back to sleep. Not to night he starts calling “My mommy, my mommy” how could I do anything else but bring him out to be rocked. He snuggled in my arms and returned to a sound sleep or so I thought. While my daughter lays on the couch and watches a movie that I am to tired to know what is going on Ashton snuggles and seems to be so close to me that I believe I could stay up all night and rock him. I should never wish for something that though wonderful would make me a bear in the morning. I walk down the hall to lay him in his crib and he jumps up as if on springs and smiles and put his arms back out to. What to do? I do the only thing that I can; I pick him up and return to the rocking chair. With the 1:30 deadline approaching and my two year old awake I can do one of two things. I can leave him with my daughter and put her in the position of having a crying baby for the next twenty minutes or I can take him with me. I decide to dress him in his winter coat and load both the baby and Katie in the truck and head out. As we leave the drive way and head down the road the snow starts to fall. I say to my self “I’ll be home before it gets bad.” When dealing with the weather in Maine you should never utter those words. As we get closer to Orono the snow is falling fast and the wind picks up, blowing the snow around. The winds batter the truck and we start sliding from side to side. My daughter is getting nerves and tells me to stop I ask her what is wrong and she yells “you are all over the road.” I tell her I am only going where the wind is taking us. Well the wind blow us right into my son’s girlfriend’s drive way and he runs out with his friend close behind. The wind is so strong that I have to drive further into the driveway so he can grab the side and pull himself and his friend along. When they get in the door is blown off the hinges and went flying down the road. I told my son to get in and we would be home before long. Once we back out of the driveway or more like get blow out of it we start back to Old Town. When we get to the end of the road and try to turn left toward home the truck is blown right and we had no choice to go. I thought we could get the interstate and be home before long. When I reached the turn off the wind started blowing behind me and we were on our way to Bangor. I decided to stop fighting the wind and went along with it. Before I know it I was being blown into the parking lot of Denny’s. The doors blow open and the wind picked us up and we were taken in and sat in chairs around the table. We were given menus and ordered. It was fun to be out late with the kids. When we leave the restaurant the wind had died down and the door was back on the truck. We all looked at each other and started laughing.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Just an note

The Of It's Leash is still a work in progress.

Theme Four Little Fancy

My son’s first semi-formal dance is so exciting he is dressed in a suit and tie and looks so grown up. I have agreed to let him stay at his girlfriends house with other friends and to pick him up at 1:30 a.m. what possessed me to agree to this on a night my husband is away I will never know. I am struggling to stay awake while my daughter who is wide awake on the couch watching a movie that I have no idea what is going on because I have been steering at the television as if in a trance. I hear a small cry from the end of the hall and know that for some reason the baby has decided that he would like to spend some time with me. I let him cry for a few minutes but can tell that he is building in to a major cry fest that will only get worse and so I make my way down to the end of the hall and see him standing at the end of his crib with his arms out stretched saying mommy, mommy over and over. How could I do anything else but pick him up and hug him to me as I walk back to the rocking chair. He has brought his two favorite blankets with him and snuggles into my chest and goes back to sleep. He is a beautiful baby and I can see my older children in him and have had people tell me he looks like his older brother. This always surprises me because Ash was a gift that was given to us. After rocking my sleeping son for a while I return him to his crib and turn to leave when he pops up like a jack in the box to stretch his arms out and gives me the look that I have never been able to resist. Doing the only thing I could I returned to the rocking chair to rock some more. This time he has decided that I’m not to be trusted and lies with his eyes open. He is watching me and seems to be telling me that he has figured out that if he goes to sleep I will put him back in his bed and he just doesn’t want that. I try to get him to lay with his sister on the couch but he only wants mommy. I know this because he starts yelling my name so loud I think he could wake the neighbors. I have to do the only thing I can and I dress him in his jacket, mittens, and hat and take him with me. My daughter pauses the movie and decides to come with me to help with the baby, but I know it is because she doesn’t like staying at home alone. We leave the house and find out just how cold it is “thank god for the starter on the truck.” The ride is uneventful until we reach 103 Ultra Lounge and see every police officer that Orono has to offer sitting at the Bangor Savings Bank across the street waiting for anyone stupid enough to have been drinking and decides to drive home.
Reaching my destination in Orono I collect my son and his friend and return home as it begins to snow. The snow is light and pretty as it falls to the ground. On reaching the point where the bank is located we see that all the police cars have left and not seeing blue lights flashing believe that the college kids are using their brains and either walked or called a cab to get home. Both boys will camp in the living room for the night because they would be like sardines in my son’s room. Ash decides that he should be able to sleep with the big boys because he has made himself comfortable in my son’s sleeping bag and waves to me. I tell my older son not to roll on him during the night and make my way to my own bed. I am almost asleep when I hear a little voice saying “up mommy, up mommy” I roll over to find Ash. I reach down and pull him into my bed and we snuggle until he finds the remote and hits me on the head with it and points it at the television. I don’t need to be hit in the head more then once, I turn the television on hoping watching ESPN will put him to sleep. This is not to be of course and Ash leaves my bed to return to the living room once again. I follow and find him once again in my son’s sleeping bed and looking like he will finally go back to sleep. After all it is after 2:30 and a two year old can’t have that much energy. Right? I return to my bed and find the dog sleeping on my pillow and he looks like he belongs there. After pushing him over I crawl in and finally lay down. Once again just before I fall a sleep I hear this little voice saying “up mommy, up mommy.” I turn and think this can’t be happening and as I pull Ash up on the bed I begin to tell him that mommy is tired and we need to go to sleep, he shakes his head up and down and cuddles in. After having kisses and hugs he turns his head and just like that he goes to sleep.
Way to soon I hear my son saying “up mommy, up mommy” only this time he is telling me it is time to get up and it is only 7:30 in the morning and my head feels like I might have been one of the people I saw leaving the bar last night.

Theme Four Black and White

Having had to pick my son up at 1:30 in the morning at his girlfriend’s house after his first semi-formal dance. The baby woke up at 12:30 and usually if I just letting him fuss for a few minutes and he goes back to sleep this would not be the case tonight. My daughter is lying on the couch watching a movie. I bring the baby out to rock him and he lies in my arms and goes right back to sleep. I rock him for a little while and at 1:00 I try to lay him back down. He wakes back up and I return to the rocking chair once again. This time he lays in my arms but doesn’t go back to sleep. I am to leave at 1:15 to make it to Orono by 1:30. My son will not go to my daughter and I end up dressing him to go with me. My daughter rides down and my son is awake all the way. I make it to Orono at 1:39 and pick up my son and his friend that will be spending the weekend with us. When we return to the house the baby decides that he wants to stay up with the boys and lays down with my son who is sleeping in the livingroom because his room is to small for two teenage boys. I go to bed and my son goes from the living room to my bedroom a few times before finally laying down with me to sleep at 2:48. He is up at 7:30 and I have a head ach.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Theme Three

The crowd is going wide the Maine Black Bears are up 4-1 and it’s been a long time this season to waiting for the team to come together. The stands are full but not like most games where you feel like a sardine crammed in to a to small can. You have leg room and can even sit comfortable with you shoulders relaxed unless we have the puck in Umass’s zone and could score again or if Ben Bishop is to far out of the goal and the puck is in our zone. One thing that is the same is the loud mouth that is always behind or in front of you. Sometimes you just want to turn around or tap them on the shoulder and tell them that they are not the coach and that the players probably can’t hear them. Most times people don’t because we are civilized and all that. I do sometimes have a conversation with them in my head. This is our conversation during the game on Sunday.

Big mouth, “Get on point.”
Karen, “I wish I had some thing pointed to poke you with.”
Big mouth, “You are there to play defense.”
Karen, “They don’t get on a college team with out knowing what they are doing.”
Big mouth, “Jesus Christ, get back in the goal.”
Karen, “I’m with you there buddy.”
Big mouth, “What the fuck are they doing.”
Karen, “I will hunt you down if my two year old says fuck tomorrow.”
Big mouth, “Is there a coach down there?”
Karen, “Is there a brain in there?”
Big mouth, “They are going to blow it again.”
Karen, “if they do it’s because you’re sitting up here instead of in a uniform and on the ice mister know it all.”

Tonight we didn’t even get a break during intermission. He sat there and picked everything that had happened in the last period a part. He stood and clapped when they scored and when his but hit the seat again his mouth started picking everything apart again. This man wore a hockey jersey and hat and seemed to be a big fan, but what team needs a fan like this. I’m sure there were a few of us that would have paid him to stay home.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Theme two

Here are a few things that tell you what decade I grew up in. Parachute pants, pony sneakers, stone washed jeans, Lional Richy, the tail end of Lover Boy. Children played outside and only came in for meals but only after some promises that they could return to their friends when they had eaten. Attari was the big new thing and we came home from school to find our black and white television had been replaced with a new color television. For a few days we sat and watched the new invention and then returned to playing outside.
Parachute pants for those of you to young to remember were kind of a spandex material that everyone was wearing. The pants were so tight that I remember my mother worrying about curculation being cut off. They started in only solid colors and then the really cool ones came out in different designes. The stone wash jeans were very cool and parents thought they looked sloppy (if only they could have seen the jeans wore today kids). Pony sneakers were way cool but only if you had white on white and high tops. Lional Richy and Lover Boy were hot and some kids listed to the hard rock but parents tried to keep children away from the devils music.
Yes I grew up in eighties I know it wasn't that long ago and I am happy to say that the music I listen to I have introduced to my children and they think it is ok but not something they would listen to with their friends around.
The eighties were not the sixties but we had fun and for the most part it was clean fun.

Sometimes internet is not as great as you think

Well I can post again. I don't know how my blog was flagged for spam but its fixed now and all is good.
What a day I had. 13 girls came by (because I invited them)and we spent the day making t-shirts for our tournament games next week. We are the top team and all of us are nervous. 13 nervous girls in my house was crazy. We had paint ever where and did a lot of laughing and with the laughing there was a lot of talk. I stopped for a while and leaned back on the counter to listen. I wondered if when I was young if I worried about the same things as these girls do. I tried to think back to when my friends can over and we would sit in my room and talk and listen to music all afternoon. I came to the conclusion that these 13 girls were not much different then I was at their age. Even when I was cleaning the mess I would think of the day I was able to spend with them and would find myself smiling.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008


Why is it that when the first work day of the week is a Tuesday do I feel that I worked my full week in one day. My students are bouncing of the walls and have a hard time focusing on school work. Why don't they observe holidays on Fridays and let us start the week on Monday the way is should work. I went all day trying to follow my Monday's schedule and that just doesn't work on Tuesday. It could be that I was off today and my students were picking up on it. If their teacher can't focus and stay on the right schedule then how do I think they could. I have been practicing today that went I wake up it will be Wednesday and a better day.

Monday, January 21, 2008

I'm married (15 years)we have three children Nathan 15 Kaitlin 13 and our newest Ashton who will turn two next month. On December 5, 2007 our adoption of our new son Ash was final, but he was our son when we meet him at two months old. I coach girls basketball at the school where I work and am co-chair on our schools parent group.

You enjoy spending time with your family and your hobbies are reading, knitting, and grabbing any quiet time you can get. You have made your children a large part of yourself and you wonder what will happen someday when they are grown and gone. You worry if your children will grow into responsible adults and if not was it something you did.

She has been very busy for the last seven years trying to get through school, work and have a family. She hopes that what she has done is right and will all be worth it in the end. She will hopefully have an assosiates degress in education and early childhood. She loves working with special needs children even when it is a bad day. She doesn't get to read or knitt as much as she would like to but that will someday be possible.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Jan. 20, 2008

Today was a day for staying in the house doing some cleaning, playing, knitting, and reading. Our family was able to sit down to all three meals together plus a few friends added at the evening meal. The baby is sleeping and the teen-ages are in their rooms with friends that are spending the night. My husband didn't make it home until 4 a.m and is now laying on the couch having a nap. He deserves his nap because while I napped with the baby today he cleaned the bathroom. I think its those little things we do with out being asked that make us appreciate each other. Well tomorrow we will be watching our son (Nathan) play basketball at Orono High School and that is always a good time chasing the baby on the bleachers. We buy M&M on the way in and can usually make it to half-time before we have to start chasing him.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Journal for Jan.19, 2008

Well today I spent with my kids being dragged around the mall. We had a lot of fun. The experience of shopping with a 13 year old girl is a trail that I know will not improve for more then a few years. My husband (Don) is on his way home from Rhode Island, he drives the men's Maine Hockey team they won 4-0. He will reach our house about 3 in the morning and the kids will want him up by 8. He will get up and be tired for most of the day and maybe take a nap in the afternoon with the baby if he is lucky. I will be spending my Sunday afternoon with my basketball team we are having a movie day. This should be as fun as shopping with my 13 year old (all the girls are between 12 and 14.)

Friday, January 18, 2008

Jan. 18, 2008

Today was a great day. We were lucky to have school and I was able to help and see my students grow as children and learners. My girls basketball team won their game and each worked hard and as a team. I have a great group of 13 girls who are willing to learn and also to show what they are learning. They are strong girls that one day will go out into the world and make a difference.
My children are happy and have plans for their future that they are working at to make their own. My baby said book for a new word, maybe it will replace the word mine.
Today was a great day.